The problem with being a Geek and dealing with kids

I’m something of a technophile, I don’t really try to hide it and being an adult no one can really tell me to stop or that I’m wasting time or any of the other things people tell you when they don’t understand what you are excited about or interested in.

So when I started being a step dad I got really excited, because I already knew of ways I could turn my various geeky pursuits into something I considered being productive. I know of versions of Linux made for kids with built in educational programs that you can scale to their age and skill level, devices that build reading, math, and science into games, and a host of other stuff that I will not get into here. I suppose that it is safe to say that some part of my brain has been getting ready for this longer than I’ve been in the role.

So the problem I have is this; while my generation grew up with computers at the same time, they were new, novel, and expensive. For the kids who are growing up today computers have always been around, the internet has always been around, and electronics as a whole are so universal that it is alien to consider a world without them. Really I had one of those “when I was your age we went outside” conversations with kiddo and he thought I was making it up.

So the problem I have here, and it isn’t really a problem; it is important to set boundaries, some people call them rules. Really what it comes down to is that from time to time you need to demonstrate that a behavior is not good, generally by taking away something fun. My parents did it, your parents did it (I assume), and the only fun thing that has an impact….is all the stuff I’m excited to share with him.

What I want to do is unlock all the neat bits of his tablet (yes I said his tablet, don’t judge). I want to get a computer for him that will help him learn to read, learn math, how to type and spell and a so on. I want to use all this neat technology that I’ve been looking at for years to help him be successful in school and life, but sometimes I have to take it away. I am sure somewhere in there is a happy medium, I know for example that I can build a computer in such a way that it can’t get to youtube, or Disney, or any of the empty calories that are floating around the internet, and I probably will at some point because as much as I enjoy the internet the thought of a kid getting the unfiltered web frightens me. But right now we have to run before we can walk. We are getting there though, and soon I am going to start sneaking in as much education as I can.

-ITBrewer

I'm turning into my parents

No one is born knowing how to be a parent, people have been saying that forever. My parents said that to me. It has also been brought to my attention that you cannot really be taught how to be a parent, though that I think is not quite as true.

Every action we take is basically a calculation made by a brain against past experience. We are in essence simply a collection of a past experiences, we weigh every choice down to which shirt to put on in the morning against our memories. I think this might be why I am turning into an amalgam of my parents, or at least their parenting style. About a year ago I found myself suddenly having to act like a parent; there is no manual for this sort of thing so when presented with a situation that falls into the parenting category my brain looked back and all it had for reference for what I as a child saw and well…this happens

Kiddo: “oh no a spider!”

Me: “he wont eat much”

See what happened there is I said exactly what my parents said without even thinking about it, and it’s not just that, all sorts of things are being met with the exact some tactic my parents used. And it isn’t just things like that, it seems to be everything, I have all these automatic responses that I know come from my parents. Was I on some level saving all these little habits since childhood in preparation for the day that I would need them? Or am I just remembering what I saw my parents do and parroting them because I have no experience of my own for my brain to come up with something original?

Either way they seem to work, so thanks mom and dad.

-ITBrewer