On Step Parents

So I am going to come right out and say that I never thought I was the step dad type; I always had a lot of respect for people who will step in and help raise a child. And while family to me has always been so much more than genetics I was never sure I was the sort of man that could do it. Not that I can point to any part of my personality and tell you it was the reason. There is a commitment made by a step parent when they enter that role that I saw as noble and huge and honestly a little frightening. For whatever reason I never considered myself able to make the commitment, I suppose you never know till you are in the moment.

Really to date it has probably been one of the most richly rewarding choices I made in my life; then again it was never a choice. You will hear me say this a lot, but I’ve always been a big believer in the family to chose. That is people outside of genetic relations can have as much importance in your life as the ones who share genes with you. That is really what it comes down to, I’m completely invested, at this point there is no division in my mind and it has become my role to help protect, and nurture this kid even though I missed out on the first few years. Somehow over the last year I’ve managed to start a family, all the while skipping some of what the world tells me is important steps (first comes marriage and so on).

We like labels, and in the end its all we are talking about, whether the kid calls me Kevin or dad or “hey you” is really unimportant. We give labels to things, ideas, and people, and the label I find on myself even though I never thought I could live up to it, is “step dad”; and it is really exciting.

-ITBrewer